Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited
decision to get married. They go for a stroll to
discuss the wedding
and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests
they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers "Yes".
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? "
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis,
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol,
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob says to the pharmacist:
"OK, we'd like to register here for our wedding gifts,
You looked troubled," I told my friend,
"what's your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know it yet."
A man traveling in southern Indiana was headed for the
border ...when he saw a large sign... "LAST CHANCE FOR
He still had more than a quarter of a tank left, but
better take advantage of this opportunity to fill-up
As he was getting his change from the attendant, he
much is gas in Kentucky?"
The attendent replied, "$1.10..."
An old man was on his death bed.
He wanted badly to take all his money with him.
He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his
"Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you.
I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die
so I can take all my money with me."
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the
Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke
and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the
envelope because he needed $10,000 for a new
"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the
"I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed
new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000."
The lawyer was aghast.
"I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed.
"I want it known that when I put my envelope in that
it contained my personal check for the full $30,000."
A little boy went to the store with his grandmother
and on the way home,
he was looking at the things she had purchased.
He found a package of panty hose and began to sound
out the words
He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed,
"Grandma, are these for mom ? They are the same size
as mom's bed!"