WELCOME TO AIR INDIA!
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain
both seated and standing passengers on board of Air India.
We apologize for
the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather
overtime I had to put in at the bakery .
This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not
guaranteed, but we will
end up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in your favor, we
may even be
landing on your village!
Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our
safety standards are
so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year,
over 30% of our
passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request,
we can arrange
to turn them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we
complimentary DHARU and Wada paav.
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline
who can help
you find out if there really is a God !
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will
not be shown as
we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our
movie buffs, we
will be flying right next to Emirates Airline, where their
movie will be
visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you
see in the cabin
is only the early warning system on the engines telling us
to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as
close as possible
for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do
let us know. Our
enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for
fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a
fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those
of you who
can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a
will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
BUT GUYS AND GALS YOU MUST FLY WITH AIR INDIA BECAUSE IT"S THE "AIR OF INDIA"